I CAN MOONWALK!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
