actually, I'm a sock model
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
