I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i already hear my dad disowning me
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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