Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize