okay pat passed out under dana's car
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think your dad took our porno
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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