In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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