So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
