he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
COCAINE IS GR8
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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