I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
