Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
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the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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