Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
it's like heaven, but drunker
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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