Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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