honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
