Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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