ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
