He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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