no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
