Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
