I can tuck mytits in my pants
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
