I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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