I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
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