So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
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there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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