Don't you send me to vm
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize