I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
