he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
