She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
