I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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