Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
