stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
