I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
