Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize