you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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