I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
