I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
