haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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