is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
two words: eviction party
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
