the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
