they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
