My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
