I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
