he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
