real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
