Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize