I don't think brook has ever known best
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
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hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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