note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
