Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
