I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
