Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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