whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Drunk is not a location!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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