Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
