My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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