If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I think your dad took our porno
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
