Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
