if you like me you must not know who I am
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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