Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
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