I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
PANTIES FOUND
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
