Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
